Family

Signs Of Alcoholism That Will Destroy Your Life And Family

Being able to recognize the signs of alcoholism as early as possible is extremely important especially when you think that your loved one might have an alcohol problem. The person can be very skillful at hiding their drinking at first, but alcoholism will interfere with the rest of their life and eventually destroy your family.

Living with an alcoholic will slam your life on its head, so begin looking for the following signs of alcoholism and take action now.

#1: Drinking interferes with work, friendships, hobbies or other aspects of their life.

The person may skip going to school, work, meetings or events and declare they were unwell so the family does not realize that alcohol is the cause of their absence. As the alcoholism advances the interferences become more difficult to hide or deny.

For example, it can begin with missing a day of work here and there and end up with showing up at work drunk or getting fired for alcohol related reasons.

#2: The person loses interest in things that kept them social and happy.

One of the sure signs of alcoholism is the person withdrawing. They may have enjoyed playing baseball previously but suddenly stop attending games and drop out of their team. This is often due to the alcoholic spending more and more time thinking about drinking and getting drunk to the point where it becomes a priority and replaces any other interests.

#3: They burst out or become angry every time you attempt to speak with them about their drinking.

This is one of the first signs of alcoholism that brings the attention of the family members to the presence of alcohol abuse addiction. A generic comment or question about the alcoholic’s drinking patterns can receive an overreacted, uncharacteristic response as they start yelling or lose control.

Alcoholics become very defensive and do whatever they can to hide their drinking and discourage family from discussing the issues with them or becoming involved in any way.

#4: They seem incapable or unwilling to stop regardless of the consequences.

Another of the many signs of alcoholism is when an alcoholic loses everything they loved and still continue drinking as if they do not realize what they have done, or simply do not care. Many alcoholics can get fired from their jobs, isolate themselves from all of their friends, and even cause their spouse and children to leave them.

For some, being left by a spouse or being told by a court that they are an unfit parent can be the catalyst to change. For others, the disease can consume them and they continue drinking unless an alternate alcoholic intervention occurs.

Living with an alcoholic is a struggle and most people have no idea how to deal with the situation. Family members end up with no self confidence from being degraded by the alcoholic and eventually isolate themselves from their friends as they try to cover up the alcohol problem at home.

The emotional impact of living with an alcoholic can be felt for a lifetime, especially in the children of alcoholics.

If you witnessed any of these signs of alcoholism then you must act immediately in order to protect your family from living with an alcoholic later on. You must find out the other signs of alcoholism, learn about alcohol abuse addiction and discover the pit falls that many people get into so that you can avoid them. Doing nothing now may result in you becoming one of the heartbreaking statistics.

If left undetected the signs of alcoholism will develop into a full scale alcoholism. Consequently, living with an alcoholic will destroy your family. Whether the person in your home is just showing signs of alcoholism or you already are living with an alcoholic, keep gathering information to help you deal with the situation.

Posted to: Alcoholism, Relationships Comments Off

The Importance Of Family Support In Prevention Of Addiction Relapse

Alcohol and Drug addiction has a devastating effect not only on the individual addict but on the entire family as well. It has been proven time and again that successfully overcoming addiction to alcohol and drugs requires the collaborative effort of the whole family and all those who are directly affected.

Residential rehab programs offer addicts various programs that are especially designed to alleviate the pain of withdrawal symptoms and to provide constructive outlets for their various addictive urges. One of the biggest set backs to long term relapse prevention is the temptation to resort to old habits once the recovered addict leaves the structured environment of the rehab program and re-enters his old surroundings. Family and spousal support is paramount during this phase of relapse prevention. In the absence of a solid support system, the former addict will most likely slip back into addiction.

Addiction is a Family Ailment

Alcoholism is considered as a family disease in medical circles and in the community as large. The families of alcohol addicts are directly affected by the alcoholism either due to abuse, neglect or sheer embarrassment of the alcoholic’s behavior. They are constantly trying to gauge the alcoholic’s mood and try their best to alter their behaviors in an effort to control the amount of alcohol that the addict may imbibe.

If a family party acts as an incentive to encourage drinking, they would rather forego the party and cancel all plans rather than run the risk of initiating another alcoholic binge. While many wives try their best to be supportive and non-critical of their partner’s addiction, even a supposed slight is enough for the addict to relapse into alcoholism.

Role of Family in Relapse Prevention

Living with a recovering alcohol addict is tough on their families who constantly feel like they are walking on eggshells. They have to measure everything they do, think about where they go and censor what they eat at family meal times.

Studies show there are 17 common triggers that can compromise an alcohol addict’s journey to recovery. Observing these few rules will help pre-empt these triggers and increase the odds of the addict staying clean for a longer time:

If the occasion calls for alcohol to be served, inform the recovering alcoholic in advance of the various non-alcoholic beverages that he can choose from.

Avoid serving any dishes that contain alcohol.

Steer clear of pubs and former favorite hanging-out venues.

Do not keep any alcohol or alcoholic products within easy reach; preferably do not keep any in the house at all.

Do not be obsessive or continuously nag your spouse about the use of alcohol.

Be supportive of Alcoholics Anonymous meetings and make sure your spouse attends all the meetings.

Make it a point to keep all doctor’s appointments and do not give up on the therapy, no matter how frustrating and tiring it may be.

Try and keep to your former routines as much as possible, they provide the recovering addict with much-needed stability.

Do not harbor resentment or ill feelings for damage done or hurt caused during the addictive phase. Letting it go and learning to forgive and forget hastens the healing process.

Recovering from addiction is a complex process. Expect set-backs along the way and try not to hold it against the person who is also facing an uphill battle in his struggle against addiction.

Make sure that one addiction is not replaced by another.

Watch for changes in behavioral patterns. Signs of unexplained depression, anger or anxiety could be silent signals that the recovering addict may relapse into addiction.

Do not let the recovering addict stop medications without the doctor’s advice.

Remember that addiction is nobody’s fault. It is an ailment much like other medical conditions and the addict should not be blamed or personally faulted. Unnecessary blame and criticism can only provoke the victim into relapse and does nothing to help recovery.

Posted to: Family Comments Off

Family Involvement In Alcohol Treatments

A common fact (and an obvious one) that can be considered reasonable is to find a gap between an alcoholic and his family. It is also common to discover that a lot of reason why someone is abusing alcohol is because of family related issues and problems. This is because of so many things associated to domestic problems that one can look for escape goats or outlets which can lessen the feeling of stress and depressions of an individual.

We all know that alcoholism and addiction can be the cause of so many problems linking to household problems and family relationships. It affects family members and close relatives making them estranged to the alcoholic. Even though, the person doesn’t intend to make such trauma and troubles, he or she can distress all the members of the family separating him or her from them. So, if we want to accomplish a difficult battle against alcoholism, one must realized we need to tackle the most common ground in the subject, the home.

Family involvement in alcoholism treatment programs is a sure necessary components if we want everyone to be successful in beating alcohol addiction. Therapies and programs should be implemented on families of the alcoholic involve so that members of the family can understand the aspects related to drinking problems. This will allow the home environment ready and supportive while the patient is on withdrawal stage. In general, members of the family are not aware of the circumstances and the reasons of alcohol addiction problems. They might see the problems but do not know the roots and the cause of such drinking problems.

A family therapy and program in alcohol addiction treatment can give them the familiarity and understanding so that they can comprehend clearly and will do the necessary actions on the event. A family program can also teach members of the family on how to deal with the person who is quitting alcohol and will support him while he is undergoing alcohol addiction treatment. The learn how to create a home that is sympathetic and make them comfortable and understanding towards recovery.

Therapy involving programs and therapeutic counseling of the family members can be useful in terms of making a supportive and accommodating place for any alcoholic. An alcohol rehabilitation center that provides quit drinking program is a better place to tackle this kind of condition. It is an added advantage as well as additional resources that will help the person get through the situation. The curing and personalized family program can assist a person to the road of recovering from alcoholism. In this place, the family can educate themselves on how to communicate with each others and how to deal with the alcoholic.

After alcohol rehabilitation and detoxification has been fully accomplished and implemented, the recovering alcoholic can maintain his sobriety at home with the help of informed family members and can be his best weapon in continuing his battle against alcohol addiction. It is a very good support group that will eventually help an individual be sober for the rest of his life.

Posted to: Alcoholism, Codependency, Family Comments Off

Alcoholism and The Family Affair: How Alcoholism Affects the Family

Being an alcoholic is no fun and certainly nobody denies that addiction is a form of sickness in whatever form it takes. However, being closely associated with an alcoholic is also no bed of roses and entire families are affected by the social behavior of someone in the grip of alcohol addiction.

For a long term partner, wife or husband, there is a certain obligation felt to help the addict and support them in seeking professional help. For young children and teenagers there are often deeper issues to address, some of which are not aired for months or years as the family struggles to help control the effects of addiction.

When an alcoholic is living within a large family structure, it is reasonable to assume they take up a great deal of attention that might usually be required to help younger members of the family through difficulties caused by adolescence; exams; teenage physical development. Teenagers already have a battle with hormones: add Grandpa’s elderly problems and Dad’s alcohol addiction to the mix and you have a recipe for explosive family confrontations on a daily basis.

Extreme addiction to alcohol produces some unpleasant problems, not the least of which is financial. Alcoholism is an expensive addiction and one that requires a constant cash injection to sustain an adequate supply of liquor. Cash spent on a bottle is no longer available for the things teenagers tend to think are essential to life, such as clothes, cell phones and money for entertainment. The lack of funds can make a youngster resent the cause of ‘not being able to do stuff’.

The younger members of the family, although sympathetic with elderly problems, tend to view addiction as an indulgence. Grandparents with elderly problems are usually very welcome to be absent minded or even slightly senile, but not to be addicted to drinking. Resentment causes teenagers to rebel and object and so the vicious circle goes on and on…

An even greater problem occurs when the addict is a mother. Mothers who have an alcohol addiction have multiple problems to overcome for a number of reasons. Women often provide the daily routine in the house, beginning with getting the children out of bed in the mornings to eat their breakfast and ending with putting them to bed at night after a nutritious supper and a warm bath. All of this breaks down when the lady of the house is sleeping off a bottle induced stupor somewhere by the end of the morning.

The result is that other members of the family, some of whom might be trying to cope with elderly problems, must take over the household responsibilities while Mom sobers up in the corner – or not, as the case may be. Many American homes are being run by elderly grandparents because parents are either absent or drunk. The social difficulties faced by these reluctant carers Fare immense and in some cases, insurmountable.

Find More Coping With An Alcoholic Husband Articles

Posted to: Alcoholism, Family, Relationships Comments Off

Alcoholic Families – Part 3

Family members think they are doing the right thing when they play the roles in an alcoholic family. They cannot see that what the are really doing is enabling the alcoholic to continue with his current behavior. So, while the family thinks they are helping, they are really hurting the situation.

As I stated in my previous post, family members revolve around the alcoholic, tending to every need. Never really giving a thought to their own needs or even realizing that this way of life is not normal. Some of the behaviors that the family has learned are:

Watch what you say. Your words can either trigger an angry rage, or come back at you when the alcoholic is drunk. It is easier to stick to very simple communication.
Clean up. Take care of the messes the alcoholic might make. After all, someone might show up at the door and we don’t want them to know!
Always let the alcoholic have his way. If you cooked chicken for dinner and he says he wanted steak. What do you do? Cook him a steak!
Make excuses. Even kids learn how to make excuses for their alcoholic parent. “Why didn’t your dad pick you up after the dance?” “His car broke down.”

All of these characteristics are learned behaviors. They have been learned so we can cope and try to function in a dysfunctional family.

What is sad is when one person tries to break free from the codependent behavior, there is always someone else in the family to take over.

Martha had been reading books about codependency. She was working on overcoming her codependent beliefs and was trying not to enable her alcoholic husband. One evening, she had plans to go to dinner with some friends. When she was getting ready, she heard a thud. When she went to investigate, she found her husband passed out on the floor. He made the choice to drink, so he would have to deal with the consequences. So she left him there. While she was out, her son came home from college. He found dad on the floor – so he helped him to the couch and made him comfortable. He then called dads work and made an excuse for his absence. Then he cleaned the vomit off the floor. Although he thought he was doing the right thing, he really just filling in as the caretaker since Martha had decided not to be codependent anymore.

It is important for all family members to learn to overcome codependency so the cycle doesn’t continue. Family counseling and family support groups are very beneficial for alcoholic families. Let the healing begin!

Posted to: Codependency, Codependent Support, Family Comments Off

Alcoholic Families – Part 2

Alcoholic families have interesting dynamics – everyone has a role. Just like parts in a play, they act out their roles and revolve around the central character like he is the most important being on the earth. No wonder the alcoholic treats everyone like his personal servants – that is what they have become.

Here are some roles that you will find in a alcoholic family. Do they sound familiar?

The caretaker: This is usually played by an adult in the family. They make sure everything is taken care of. The bills are paid, the shopping is done, the house is clean, etc. The caretaker is so busy taking care of everthing and everyone else that he/she has no time for his/her own needs.
The scapegoat: This is the person who seems to get the blame for everything. If the alcoholic trips over something, it is because the scapegoat left it out. The focus changes from the alcoholic being drunk to the scapegoat being lazy by not putting things away.
The hero: This is the over achiever. The child who tries hard to succeed in everything. The one who makes the family look good. However, even the hero’s feelings get overlooked in an alcoholic family.
The clown: If this person keeps everyone laughing, no one will cry – right? However, many times the humor prevents healing in the family. Instead of facing the problem, the laughter distracts from it.
The lost child: This child doesn’t say much, just keeps to himself. He might like to watch TV, play video games, or stay in his room. He is overlooked because he is so quiet. But he is observing more than you know.

Can you see these roles in your family? It is time to break the cycle. For yourself and your children – let them know what it is really like to be a kid! There is hope for alcoholic families. I have mentioned Al-Anon before, there is also Alateen for teenagers.

There are many books on the market that help you break free from codependency roles. Reading a chapter before bed can help put positive thought in your hear and in turn, help you start the next day with a new perspective.

Posted to: Alcoholism, Codependency, Family Comments Off

Alcoholic Families – Part 1

Alcoholism has been called the ‘Family Disease’ because it affects everyone in the family to some extent. In many families, all the members have become enablers. By refusing to admit there is a problem in their family, they are all allowing the destructive behavior to continue.

Families of alcoholics are always on guard because they never know what the drinkers behavior will be from one moment to the next. Children do not invite friends over, spouses make excuses for not attending social functions, etc.

Perhaps a scenario like this has played out in your home:

It is one of the kids birthdays and you are having a family dinner. You are on edge because family functions are a trigger for alcohol abuse and none of your guests are aware of the problem. Your kids are are acting silly – partly because of the excitement of the party, and partly to release anxiety about other people seeing dad drunk. About 5 minutes before the guests arrive, one of the kids says something innocent that upsets your spouse. You try to calm them down, but in doing so you tell your spouse that the comment wasn’t worth getting upset about. Wrong thing to say, now your spouse accuses you of not supporting him and always siding with the kids. He threatens to leave and not attend the party unless you take your words back.

What would you do? On one hand – you really should stand your ground. After all, it was a silly thing to get upset about. But on the other hand, if he leaves how will you explain his absence to your guests. What will people think, what rumors will start if he isn’t there?

A codependent family would rally around to make it better and give the alcoholic what he wants – just to keep the peace. The party would go on as planned, but there is an underlying tension that no one can quite figure out.

A family who has overcome codependent behaviors would have let the alcoholic leave. This is how he chose to react and who is he really hurting? Himself – he is missing out on a family experience because he chose to be selfish. You do not have to make excuses for him to your guests. Let it go.

Life is to important to get worked up about addiction drama – find happiness with your family with or without the alcoholic.

Posted to: Family Comments Off

Do You Fear Alcohol Addiction Recovery?

This is a tough question – Do you fear the recovery of your addict? Of course you want the alcoholic/addict in your life to get better. Life would be better if they were in recovery – right? But wait, how does recover affect me? Who will I take care of? How will their recovery change my identity? Think hard and answer the question again – do you fear the recovery of your addict?

Many people who are codependent identify themselves with the alcoholic/addict. They are the caretaker, the worrier, the fixer, etc. Though they may not realize it, they could be subconsiously preventing the recovery of their loved one. They are unknowingly preventing it out of fear. “What will happen to me if they get better?” “They won’t need me anymore.”

The disease of alcoholism and drug addiction is known as a family disease – because it affects everyone close to the individual. Living with an alcoholic or addict and their erratic behaviors takes it toll on every one around. Friends, coworkers, friends, and most of all family, are all affected in some way. If the destructive behavior of alcoholic/codependent has gone on for years, it is the relationship that they both identify with. It is a sick circle that continues round and round until someone breaks free. Usually that someone is the codependent person.

Often the alcoholic/addict only recognizes their problem when their loved ones break free from the cycle of codependent behavior. The relationship is different and the alcoholic/addict has to take responsiblilty for their own actions because someone is not there to pick up the pieces and make everything all right.

One of the best ways to break free from codependecy is to attend group meetings for people in similar situations. Al-Anon is available for spouses, family members and friends of alcoholics that are in and out of recovery. These groups can help you find yourself again and see that there can be a better tomorrow. Al-Anon groups meet all over the world and you can visit Al-Anon online to find a meeting near you.

Breaking free from codependency takes time and effort. Recovery won’t come all at once, but little by little as you learn how to love yourself again. You can be free from the heartache of codependency!

Posted to: Codependency, Codependent Support Comments Off