codependency symptoms

Are you codependent? How you you know if you have codependency symptoms? Below are some of the typical signs and symptoms a person that could be codependent displays or behaves

Symptoms of Codependency

Codependents feel an uncontrollable urge to help others when they have a problem. Anxiety, guilt, pain are common emotions that a codependent feels when they realize that someone they know have a problem. They believe and act responsible for the other person’s thoughts, feelings, actions and needs. They often become angry when their help is not appreciated or is ineffective. They try their utmost to anticipate the other persons needs and wants and feel let down when they are ignored.

Codependents often try to hide their own needs and wants and tell people that their own problems are insignificant and try to hide them as much as possible. Their main objective is to please others rather than themselves. At the same time, they also feel sad and frustrated that they give a lot to others but get nothing in return.

A typical codependency symptom would be when they find themselves attracted to needy people or find needy people attracted to them.

Codependency symptoms also include feeling pressurized, unappreciated, victimized and often find other people are angry with them. Usually they have strong feelings of low self worth and this low self worth feeling is boosted when they help others with their problems.

Codependents strongly believe that other people cannot like them or love them for who they are and try hard to prove that they are good enough for other people.

Another codependency symptom is to be obsessive about things. They worry about the smallest and the minutest of details and always feel anxious about everything. They have the habit of spying on people, always checking up on them and trying to catch them doing something wrong.

A classic codependency symptom is to abandon whatever they were doing because somebody or something upset them. They often feel why at the end of the day nothing gets done.

Another classic codependent symptom is to be controlling in nature. Codependents fear the loss of control and always feel that they know best about how things or events should turn out. At the same time, they feel controlled by people and events around them and get frustrated and angry. They are apprehensive about letting events happen as they should.

Another symptom of codependency is denial. Codependents ignore problems or completely pretend that the problem does not exist. They delude themselves into thinking that things are not as bad as it seems and that tomorrow will be a better day. They keep themselves very busy, often are workaholics so that they do not have to deal with problems. They constantly lie to themselves and watch silently and without action as problems get worse.

Lack of trust is another symptom. Codependents do not trust themselves or anybody else for that matter. They often feel abandoned. They don’t trust their feelings or thoughts and even end up losing faith and trust in God.

Codependent relationship symptoms typically revolve around low self worth. They believe that the other person is never there for them when they need them. They actively look for relationships that can get them feeling good. They don’t believe that they can take care of themselves. They often will stay in abusive relationships and tolerate abuse thinking that will get the other person to love them. They center their lives around their relationships and other people and often equate pain with love.

Finally codependents can be very irresponsible or very responsible, have a combination of passive and aggressive reactions to responses to people and events. Do they exact opposite of what they feel. As codependency increases you will find them becoming increasingly withdrawn, violent, emotionally and mentally ill, start have eating disorders, become an alcoholic or addicted to other drugs, start to neglect their families and responsibilities.

If you are reading the articles on this website then you are probably searching for help. Perhaps you had a run in with the alcoholic in your life. Maybe you just can’t take it anymore – the broken promises, your constant sadness and frustration, the tears that never seam to stop.

I know how you feel, I have been there. Just like you I would search the internet after he passed out. I was desperate for help. I clung to every word I read, searching for words of hope and the promise of a better day. As I read I came to realize that I needed more than the things I could find on the internet. I needed something tangible, something I could hold in my hands. Something that I could read as I spend time locked in my bedroom away from the rage.

This is what I found. Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself. This book is one of the most important books you can read if you are trying to overcome codependency and break free from it’s chains.

Codependent No More is written by Melodie Beattie, a woman who faced overwhelming codependency in her life. She has been there, felt so down trodden that it seemed that life wasn’t worth living. But not only did she rise above it, she made it her mission in life to help others overcome codependency.

This book helps you to identify codependent symptoms. It also helps you to see that there is hope, you can overcome. In addition to detailing symptoms and real life stories, the book has a worksheet at the end of each chapter. As you go through the worksheets you will be able to see how you are progressing toward codependency freedom.

If you or someone close to you is suffering from codependency, this book is a must have. Not only will it help you work through your codependent tendencies, it will help you to heal. It will help you to rise above and become stronger. You will learn how to stand up for you and not cower in fear any more.

This book is a must for anyone who is dealing with an alcoholic or addict in their life. Whether you are a spouse, sibling, parent or child, this book will help you help yourself so you can better help them.

Buy it now for less than $10. It is worth every penny and more!  Click here to purchase:
Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

Codependency is a term that we seem to hear a lot, but what does it really mean? If a person is codependent are they a bad person? Are they crazy? Just what is Codependency?
The dictionary definition is:

co-de•pen•dent or co•de•pen•dent (kō’dĭ-pěn’dənt)
adj.
1. Mutually dependent.
2. Of or relating to a relationship in which one person is psychologically dependent in an unhealthy way on someone who is addicted to a drug or self-destructive behavior, such as chronic gambling.
n. One who is co-dependent or in a co-dependent relationship.
co’de•pen’dence, co’de•pen’den•cy n.

Hmm – I am not sure that definition describes me. Why would I be in an unhealthy relationship? Don’t I deserve better than that? The truth is, many people – both men and women are in unhealthy relationships. They just can’t see it or won’t admit it. I know this – I have been in a relationship like this for almost 30 years. Yet, I only admitted that it is codependent a few years ago.
We see ourselves as caretakers – people who do their best to look after the people they love. We protect them, clean up after them, make excuses for them, take care of them. We do all this to the point of destroying ourselves.

Does this sound familiar:

  • You have to be perfect all the time
  • You do not show emotion
  • You keep the family secrets
  • You make excuses & clean up the messes
  • Others opinions are more important than your own
  • You react from fear of rejection or anger – You do not voice your opinions because you fear the reaction you will get
  • Your quality of life is directly related to your relationships
  • Low self esteem
  • No boundaries or the boundaries are not firm

The list could go on and on. But we don’t want to dwell on the negative. This site is here to help us overcome our destructive behaviors and find the happiness and peace we crave. So let’s begin this journey together as we strive to break free! We will learn and explore just what is codependency.