Alcohol

Help for the Christian Alcoholic Who Still Craves Alcohol

I can only tell this story in second-person, but I was David’s wife for the last 9 years that he actively drank alcohol and for the 5 years that he was sober. This story is not about me; I am just the vessel that God has chosen to tell it. I will try not to be too long, but it’s hard to know what details to include and what to leave out. I know that David would want this story to be told, if it helps other alcoholics.

All I can really say about those first 9 drinking years, is that for the most part it was hell. David has been a practicing alcoholic since his early teens. He was divorced and had 2 daughters when I met him. We actually met for the very first time at a treatment center. He was in his last couple of days of alcohol detox (2nd time) and I was just beginning my treatment for cocaine addiction. Later we met again at AA meetings and eventually married. David’s sobriety didn’t last long, thus beginning numerous cycles of hard drinking with brief periods of sobriety. I won’t go into a lot of details except to say the hard drinking periods resulted in 2 trips to jail for domestic violence while he was in blackouts, ending with a felony DUI and a 3rd trip to the same treatment center.

After David’s 2nd domestic violence arrest, we started attending church and made some close friends, David stayed sober. Life was good, but it wasn’t to last. David and I had both been raised in Christian homes, so we knew and believed in Jesus Christ.

Just to clarify, when I say “Christian,” I am referring to a person who at one point in life admitted being a sinner, confessed those sins, and asked Jesus Christ to come into their heart and be Lord and Savior of their life. Faith in Jesus Christ is the only way to be saved.

The first church that we attended ended up splitting, because there was a conspiracy to oust the pastor. We left the church and did not go anywhere else for over a year. David once again fell off the wagon. Some of our closest friends had started going to another church in the area, so I went there by myself. David would attend services with me on the rare occasion, and people from the church would come out and visit us. There were some awesome prayer warriors at that church. They prayed often for David and for our family. David would try to stay sober, but he just couldn’t do it. No matter how hard he tried, he eventually went back to the bottle. He would try to hide how much he was drinking, but I always found the evidence.

Things got very bad in early 2001. Under the guise of helping an older man that used to live across the street and had some health issues, he was actually drinking with him. This man had been sober for a few years, but David enticed him to drink again. They became whiskey buddies. One fateful day, David said he was leaving for work but instead went to the liquor store, He ended up at his buddy’s house and had to call the man an ambulance because his buddy thought he was having a heart attack. When David tried to leave, he bumped the ambulance with his big car. The EMTs called the police, who arrested David in our driveway. I had come home for lunch and witnessed the whole thing. I didn’t do anything to stop him from being arrested, because he was staggering drunk already and it was only noon. I wanted him to go to jail.

He went to jail for what was actually his 5th DUI, making it a felony. After spending the night in jail, he told me how he laid on the cold cell floor and prayed for Jesus to forgive him and to help him stay sober. He maintained his sobriety for only a couple of months, then it was right back to the hard drinking like before the DUI. One day I came home for lunch, and could tell right away he was in a blackout by the look in his eyes and the way he talked. My son was at school, so I had my mother pick him up and take him to her house. I left and didn’t go home after work.

Some may wonder why I stayed married to David through all the insanity. Well, during the really bad periods, I was clinging to God to get me through. I kept hearing in my spirit to just hang in there because God was going to do a miracle in David’s life. I didn’t want to miss the miracle, since I had already put up with so much. I prayed for a forgiving spirit and God gave me one.

Later that night, I did go home not knowing what to expect. David had sobered up some and was contrite as usual. But I, for one, had reached my limit. I told him that if he didn’t go back to treatment, I was done with our marriage. He allowed me to take him to the treatment center, but they had no beds available. He was able to return to treatment the next night, where he spent 7 days detoxing. That night he went into treatment for the 3rd time was actually his sobriety date, because he didn’t take another drink after that. But he still craved alcohol.

During his periods of sobriety, we had attended church together. We made a lot of close friends our age who were living true Christian lives. After David’s treatment, the men took David under their wings and discipled him. We attended Bible studies together and were becoming stronger Christians. We studied the book of James and learned about James 5:14-16.

14 Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord.
15 And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven.
16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

David still struggled with a desire to drink. One Wednesday night, David asked some of the men in our church to come into the prayer room with him, anoint him with oil and pray for deliverance from his craving for alcohol. I don’t know how many men actually prayed over David that night. David did say that when one particular friend touched and prayed over him, that he felt something like electricity go through his body and felt the Holy Spirit. What I do know is that from that moment on, David never craved alcohol.

David told me that the moment he knew he was really healed, was the first time we went back to the river. That had always been a big drinking trigger for him. But this time, he didn’t even think about it until afterwards. David was having doubts about his salvation, so he gave his life to Christ and was baptized in our friends’ swimming pool by his Christian friends. He became involved with Alcoholics for Christ. We began working in the church and even served as youth ministers for a couple of years. God led us to a different church to help with the Celebrate Recovery ministry there.

As for David’s felony DUI, I saw God do many miracles during the time the case was going to trial, and afterwards in the sentencing. Our Christian friends really showed their support by coming to court dates with David and writing letters of support to the judge. Everyone had witnessed the divine change in David. He was so excited about his salvation and his deliverance, people couldn’t help but be drawn to him. David ended up doing 6 days of a 10 day sentence, reduced from a possible year in prison. He had to pay a large fine, but only lost his drivers license for 90 days, instead of 5 years.

David continued to love and serve Jesus until God called him home in October 2006. I tell you his story so that you will understand something important. If you are a believer and a follower of Jesus Christ, then the words in James 5:14-16 are for you.

David was just a regular country boy who loved his family, Tennessee Vols football, NASCAR, wrestling, drywall finishing, and drinking alcohol. His father died from complications of alcoholism, and David was headed down the very same path. What made the difference was David’s faith in God’s word and his willingness to put God’s words into action.

I don’t know why David got healed and others don’t. God is God and I’m not. I believe the key is that David took the initiative and put his faith into action by asking the men to pray over him. I just know that practicing James 5:14-16 enabled David to live the last 5 years of his life sober. All David ever really wanted in life was to be respected. He finally found that through sobriety. I am witness to that fact.

Thanks for staying with me for so long. My point of this long article is to say to the Christian alcoholic who still craves that there is hope for you. If you have some men in your life who have a close relationship with Jesus, ask them if they would be willing to practice James 5:14-16 on you. Believe that Jesus wants to set you free from the disease of alcoholism and accept God’s gift of healing. What do you have to lose?

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Alcohol is Not the Answer For Motivation

If you have a loved one who is depressed, the first thing that strikes you is the complete lack of interest in anything. A friend of mine whose husband has been in a severe depression for many years has told me that her husband has not left the house in four years. There is a level of apathy and lethargy which is just impossible to fathom. But the fact that they need motivation is a classic symptom of many depressive illnesses and mood disorders so we should not be surprised at all.

I know lots of depressed and anxious people who use alcohol for a quick fix. Unfortunately alcohol, in the long term is a depressant as their mood disorders such as irritability and wild mood swings become even worse. Although they first start with alcohol to help them cope or because they need motivation, the fact is that very soon they are too far down the alcoholic road to be able to do anything about it. They have become dependent on it.

Dependency on alcohol has side effects which can be devastating in many ways. Potential alcoholics feel they must have a drink and will go to any lengths to get it. Work and relationships start to suffer and physical and mental problems start to set in.

There is a definite link between alcoholism and depression and there are statistics to show that people who self injure are much more likely to be alcoholics. Suicide is also more common in alcoholics. Many people drink to find quick relief from depression but very often become even more depressed after the immediate effects wear off. That is simple because alcohol affects your brain chemicals or neurotransmitters and puts you at greater risk of getting more depressed!

Alcohol can have severe effects on the central nervous system and it can slow it down considerably. Your breathing is slower, you relax and it sounds like the perfect solution for depression if you need motivation as you immediately feel better. The problem is that you become more and more dependent on it and you need more and more for the same effects to kick in.

If you need to help motivate yourself and have decided that alcohol is far too risky for a quick fix, then why not consider natural alternatives. There is no risk of dependency and a few simple lifestyle changes can work wonders.

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Family Involvement In Alcohol Treatments

A common fact (and an obvious one) that can be considered reasonable is to find a gap between an alcoholic and his family. It is also common to discover that a lot of reason why someone is abusing alcohol is because of family related issues and problems. This is because of so many things associated to domestic problems that one can look for escape goats or outlets which can lessen the feeling of stress and depressions of an individual.

We all know that alcoholism and addiction can be the cause of so many problems linking to household problems and family relationships. It affects family members and close relatives making them estranged to the alcoholic. Even though, the person doesn’t intend to make such trauma and troubles, he or she can distress all the members of the family separating him or her from them. So, if we want to accomplish a difficult battle against alcoholism, one must realized we need to tackle the most common ground in the subject, the home.

Family involvement in alcoholism treatment programs is a sure necessary components if we want everyone to be successful in beating alcohol addiction. Therapies and programs should be implemented on families of the alcoholic involve so that members of the family can understand the aspects related to drinking problems. This will allow the home environment ready and supportive while the patient is on withdrawal stage. In general, members of the family are not aware of the circumstances and the reasons of alcohol addiction problems. They might see the problems but do not know the roots and the cause of such drinking problems.

A family therapy and program in alcohol addiction treatment can give them the familiarity and understanding so that they can comprehend clearly and will do the necessary actions on the event. A family program can also teach members of the family on how to deal with the person who is quitting alcohol and will support him while he is undergoing alcohol addiction treatment. The learn how to create a home that is sympathetic and make them comfortable and understanding towards recovery.

Therapy involving programs and therapeutic counseling of the family members can be useful in terms of making a supportive and accommodating place for any alcoholic. An alcohol rehabilitation center that provides quit drinking program is a better place to tackle this kind of condition. It is an added advantage as well as additional resources that will help the person get through the situation. The curing and personalized family program can assist a person to the road of recovering from alcoholism. In this place, the family can educate themselves on how to communicate with each others and how to deal with the alcoholic.

After alcohol rehabilitation and detoxification has been fully accomplished and implemented, the recovering alcoholic can maintain his sobriety at home with the help of informed family members and can be his best weapon in continuing his battle against alcohol addiction. It is a very good support group that will eventually help an individual be sober for the rest of his life.

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Need A Hand? Help to Stop Drinking Alcohol

Irritable, extremely moody, out of focus, sleep deprived. Are you tired of being like this? Have you noticed the changes that your bad drinking habit had caused? If you are, then you probably have already asked this question yourself – where can I find help to stop drinking alcohol? Is there still hope for me? Is this something I can still get over with? Can I still change? Is it possible that I become a better person in spite of being an alcoholic who can’t stop himself from drinking?

The answer to all these questions is YES. Yes, there is still hope for someone who has a drinking problem. Admitting to oneself that there is a problem that needs to be given action is a big step. It can be really difficult to admit that there is something wrong with what you are doing, so the fact that you have admitted this to yourself and decided to look for an answer, proves that there is hope for you. That you can still change to a better person. And that you can still live an alcohol free life.

Now that you have admitted that you need help, the rest of the steps will follow. You are looking for help and many are available. One of the best help support group that you can have is your family and friends. Again, this can be quite hard because you are going to admit it to them that you need help to stop this bad habit of yours. Discussing this with family can be really awkward but it can give you the best result. Of all the people around you, your family would be very people who would love to give you help to stop drinking alcohol. If you see how concerned and supportive your family is, this can encourage you to do better and try harder to stop drinking. After all, they probably are the people who are greatly affected the most because of your drinking problem. Apart from your family, the one important figure that must support you is no other than yourself. You have to be determined and focused to reach what you wanted to reach. This is not an easy thing to do, you might even want to stop at some point but don’t. Always remind yourself that you can have a better life if you have succeeded this battle of your life.

Aside from your family, there are many other units from the community that can render help to stop drinking alcohol. There are many available rehabilitation centers that cater people with such problems. They have the best facility and personnel who can give professional help. With the people with adequate knowledge and modern methods, you will be able to stop drinking alcohol. Like what is stated in the previous paragraph, this cannot be easy. If it is hard to talk about your drinking problem to your family, it can be harder to discuss it to someone who is a complete stranger to you. But bear in mind that these strangers are professionals who can help you achieve what you wanted to achieve – to have an alcohol free life.

Posted to: Alcoholism, Codependent Support 1 Comment

Stop Drinking With Alcohol Anonymous

Alcohol Anonymous, more commonly known as AA is the world’s largest self help group for people who want to kick their alcohol addiction. Alcohol Anonymous is a group of men and women who have suffered from or are themselves suffering from alcoholism, and who turn towards each other in order to help themselves get rid of their addictions. If you think that you are an alcoholic or are “addicted to alcohol”, then you can seek help from your local AA chapter.

People at Alcohol Anonymous will not tell you whether you are an alcoholic or not. So it is up to you to judge if you are one, in case there are any doubts. If you feel the urges or cravings to lay hands on your favorite poison, always end up drinking more than what you wanted to, or are physically dependent on alcohol to get you through the day or the night, then you are what can be termed an alcohol dependent or alcoholic person. There are a lot of people who think that they are not alcoholics just because they have the ability to consume large amounts of alcohol without losing control of their senses, but in the true sense of the word, these people are also alcohol dependent.

First Step

Once you are sure that you are an alcoholic, then the first step to take in order to kick the habit is to abstain from drinking as much as possible. While it is easy to tell somebody to cut down on consumption of alcohol, it is impossible for the alcoholic to follow this advice because of the condition that he or she is suffering from.

Therefore, it is important for alcohol dependent people to seek support at these times from people who have managed to or are in the process of kicking the habit and this is the core group forming Alcohol Anonymous.

Alcohol Anonymous is the best kind of support group that anybody can ever think of joining, because it is one of those rare organizations in the world that is apolitical non-denominational and multiracial. The group has absolutely no social, political or religious leanings and the only leaning the group has is towards reaching a collective goal of non-alcoholism.

Self-supporting

Alcohol Anonymous is a self supporting, non- professional organization that is founded, run and managed by past or even current alcoholics, and everybody is free to join in. There are no requirements to be met to become a member, apart from the inclination to kick alcoholism.

Alcohol Anonymous or Alcoholics Anonymous has the distinction of being the world’s largest self help organization. Branches and AA groups can be found in almost every city in the world. The group’s members meet almost every week, where they discuss the problems that they are facing as a result of being alcohol dependent, how they want to kick the habit, how they have managed to get out of the quick sands of alcoholism and what are the positive and negative changes in their lives as a result of alcoholism and as a result of getting rid of it.

Free For All

Alcohol Anonymous membership is free for all. The organization does not solicit members but all are free to come and go as they please. There are no attendance or membership records. However, the organization does have a buddy system, where one person is codependent on the other and vice versa, and each one tries to prevent their partner from getting a relapse.

Thus it is extremely easy to join Alcohol Anonymous and the group therapy that takes place at Alcohol Anonymous meetings is advised by experts for all those who want to get rid of their dependence on alcohol. You can also check out the organization’s local branch by attending a couple of meetings.

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Am I Codependent?

Did you know that at least one fourth of the population is in a family that is affected by addiction? Not just a relative who is an alcoholic/addict, but a first-degree relative! Close to 90% of all actively addicted persons live with their family or a significant other. That family or significant other is you, me and everyone else affected by addiction and who struggles with codependency.

Ask yourself, am I codependent? You look at yourself and you think ‘no, I am a loving, caring individual who is trying to help the addict in my life.’ This is true, you are a loving, caring individual. And you ARE trying to help the alcoholic/addict overcome their addictions. But, are you caring about you? Are you loving and caring toward the person who needs it the most – yourself?

Here are some characteristics of Codependent behavior. Can you see yourself in any of these?

You go the extra mile to keep the peace in your home
You feel responsible for other peoples feelings, choices, wants, needs, etc.
Try to please others all the time, regardless if you are happy or not
Are unable to say no even when your are already stretched thin
Feel guilty when someone is giving to you
Feel angry and victimized
You try to catch your addict in the act of misbehaving
You are constantly searching for clues or some concrete proof of alcohol in the home
You always try to prove yourself, yet you never feel you measure up
You fear rejection
You are very hard on yourself. You are unhappy with how your look, think, feel, & act
You blame yourself
You desperately need love and affection
You lie to yourself that you can fix it
You wonder why you can’t catch up and get things done
You say what you THINK people want to hear instead of what you THINK
You blame others for your problems
You feel guilt for everything. Guilt for enjoying something, guilt for spending money on yourself. Just GUILT!
You believe you opinion doesn’t matter
You lie to protect the ones you love and to cover up for them
You lie to cover up for yourself
You have difficulty expressing your emotions honestly

This list could go on and on and you may not feel like everything on the list applies to you. But even if some of it does, you could be codependent. Life does seem unbearable – at times you don’t want to put another step forward. But life is good! We just need to change our outlook and learn to deal with our alcoholics differently!

You are a person of worth! Remember that you CAN break free from codependency.

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