Codependency is a behavior pattern in which a person tends to form unhealthy relationships. People who engage in codependent behavior almost always appear to place the needs and desires of other people before their own. These other people often have an addiction or mental health problems that the codependent person tries to ignore or avoid.
Initially, experts used the term “codependency” to describe spouses, parents, siblings and others with close relationships to people addicted to drugs and alcohol. Today, the term “codependency” has been used to describe any relationship that is one-sided and/or emotionally abusive. In codependent relationships, at least one person tends to feel fear, anger, pain or shame. People in codependent relationships ignore or deny these feelings.
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Don’t give up the struggle, recovery happens one day at a time.
How I have learned to deal with my codependency is by first, learning about the pattern. Then I started doing work on learning about myself, and where my self-esteem and self-concept became distorted.
This helped me to see that I don’t have to help others to be okay. It is painful to watch someone we love do things to themselves that are not in their best interest. AND, they have to change their behavior and take care of themselves.
The real truth is: we can’t control other people, places or things. It is helpful to learn how to let go, in love, but let go nonetheless. As long as we keep up our rescue, the other person has no incentive to change….. Why should they, we’re taking care of that for them, and losing ourselves in the process.
It’s wonderful that you asked about meetings. This says that you have learned that it is okay for you to seek the support of others in your struggle. It is the best thing you can do for yourself, and it will be a big part of your recovery.
I wish you all the best
God Bless!