Guilt – just guilt!

What is it with guilt? I feel guilt about EVERYTHING! My daughter’s date is late, I feel guilt. WHY? I wasn’t driving him! Yet, I still feel guilt. I don’t understand why I feel guilty about everything – why someone is sad, when the local sports team loses, when my husband has a bad day. The list could go on and on. The point is – I am NOT GUILTY for any of this! Now I just need to convince myself.

We have all experienced guilt at some time in our lives. And face it, guilt can be a great motivator! We feel guilty we made a huge mess so we hurry to clean it up. We feel guilt for leaving the kids home with a sitter so we bring home ice cream and a DVD to watch with them.

But, when your life is consumed by guilt – there is no motivation. In fact, you seem to have lost your will to go on. So guilt has the reverse effect. You feel so guilty that you can’t function, and then you feel even more guilty because you are not getting anything done. Now throw in an alcoholic spouse or significant other and the guilt goes through the roof!

One thing we need to always remember is that the guilt that is piled on us by and alcoholic or addict it THEIR guilt. It is not ours and we do not need to own up to it. Alcoholics have an amazing way of making their spouses crazy with guilt! After all, according to them, everything that goes wrong in their life is our fault. Because it certainly isn’t theirs! Alcoholics and addicts need to have someone to blame, it makes them feel better about what they are doing to themselves. If they can push the blame off, they do not have to claim the truth. Yes, it is an ugly thing that they do to us, but it is what they do.

So, what I want you to understand is IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!! No matter how much your significant other tries to blame you, you did not cause his alcoholism or addiction. Remind yourself of this daily and start to break free from the guilt!