Family

Are You Living With An Alcoholic?

Are you one of those people who are suffering from living with an alcoholic? Then this is the right page for you. Lots of people are getting addicted to alcohol. They can be your parents, relatives, friends, spouse or anything that is near you that are suffering from addiction. Maybe you are suffering because of the bad behavior they are showing especially if they are drunk.

Alcohol is not bad but everything that is too much is definitely not good for ones lifestyle. It is amazing to know that this kind of people really want to stop their addiction but they just can’t. When a person is addicted the body and the mind is very much affected. The urge to take big amount of alcohol is so strong with this kind of people. If you are a friend or someone closer with this kind of people then you can certainly do something to help them stop.

The first thing that you need to put in your mind is avoid being judgmental. If you continue to show them that you think that they are consider bad person because of their addiction then you are totally pushing them to go to the addiction further. Giving them the inspiration to change and boosting their moral can really give a big help. Lots of people are getting drunk because of many reasons. Solving the issue with regards to the main reason of addiction is a big factor.

For the person to be able to change he/she needs to have the conviction to do so. This is the main thing that you must put in the heart of the person. The self control must be build and remember that you can’t do this in an instant. Addiction is better to stop bit by bit so you don’t need to rush too much.

Remember to be positive in your outlook that the person can change if you help him towards the goal.

More Living With An Alcoholic Spouse Articles

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The Importance Of Family Support In Prevention Of Addiction Relapse

Alcohol and Drug addiction has a devastating effect not only on the individual addict but on the entire family as well. It has been proven time and again that successfully overcoming addiction to alcohol and drugs requires the collaborative effort of the whole family and all those who are directly affected.

Residential rehab programs offer addicts various programs that are especially designed to alleviate the pain of withdrawal symptoms and to provide constructive outlets for their various addictive urges. One of the biggest set backs to long term relapse prevention is the temptation to resort to old habits once the recovered addict leaves the structured environment of the rehab program and re-enters his old surroundings. Family and spousal support is paramount during this phase of relapse prevention. In the absence of a solid support system, the former addict will most likely slip back into addiction.

Addiction is a Family Ailment

Alcoholism is considered as a family disease in medical circles and in the community as large. The families of alcohol addicts are directly affected by the alcoholism either due to abuse, neglect or sheer embarrassment of the alcoholic’s behavior. They are constantly trying to gauge the alcoholic’s mood and try their best to alter their behaviors in an effort to control the amount of alcohol that the addict may imbibe.

If a family party acts as an incentive to encourage drinking, they would rather forego the party and cancel all plans rather than run the risk of initiating another alcoholic binge. While many wives try their best to be supportive and non-critical of their partner’s addiction, even a supposed slight is enough for the addict to relapse into alcoholism.

Role of Family in Relapse Prevention

Living with a recovering alcohol addict is tough on their families who constantly feel like they are walking on eggshells. They have to measure everything they do, think about where they go and censor what they eat at family meal times.

Studies show there are 17 common triggers that can compromise an alcohol addict’s journey to recovery. Observing these few rules will help pre-empt these triggers and increase the odds of the addict staying clean for a longer time:

If the occasion calls for alcohol to be served, inform the recovering alcoholic in advance of the various non-alcoholic beverages that he can choose from.

Avoid serving any dishes that contain alcohol.

Steer clear of pubs and former favorite hanging-out venues.

Do not keep any alcohol or alcoholic products within easy reach; preferably do not keep any in the house at all.

Do not be obsessive or continuously nag your spouse about the use of alcohol.

Be supportive of Alcoholics Anonymous meetings and make sure your spouse attends all the meetings.

Make it a point to keep all doctor’s appointments and do not give up on the therapy, no matter how frustrating and tiring it may be.

Try and keep to your former routines as much as possible, they provide the recovering addict with much-needed stability.

Do not harbor resentment or ill feelings for damage done or hurt caused during the addictive phase. Letting it go and learning to forgive and forget hastens the healing process.

Recovering from addiction is a complex process. Expect set-backs along the way and try not to hold it against the person who is also facing an uphill battle in his struggle against addiction.

Make sure that one addiction is not replaced by another.

Watch for changes in behavioral patterns. Signs of unexplained depression, anger or anxiety could be silent signals that the recovering addict may relapse into addiction.

Do not let the recovering addict stop medications without the doctor’s advice.

Remember that addiction is nobody’s fault. It is an ailment much like other medical conditions and the addict should not be blamed or personally faulted. Unnecessary blame and criticism can only provoke the victim into relapse and does nothing to help recovery.

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Dealing with An Alcoholic Husband


We’ve been together 4 years, have an almost 2 year old son, and have been married almost 3 months. I love him very much, he is one of the greatest guys I’ve ever met. However, he goes in these spurts where he will be drinking a lot and seem to completely not care about me at all. He’ll say mean things whens he’s drunk, which I know he doesn’t mean but it still hurts. He’s gone to rehab once last year, it helped…he was sober 73 days until a buddy of his passed away and through him right back into the drinking.

Since then he’s been drinking. Sometimes not much, sometimes way too much. He had a sober 3 weeks this last month and then wanted to go out to dinner (our son going to grandma’s for the night) and I knew that meant trouble…he’s going to drink. Well, sure enough he did…and I can’t lie…I had a couple beers myself, but I’m not the one with a drinking problem. I feel like our marriage is all of a sudden unimportant to him.

Even though he loves me and would do anything for my son and I, it’s making me very bitter. I feel like I’ve been told I won the lotto, then, “oh wait, there’s been a mistake. you didn’t win” kind of thing. I was SO happy when he quit drinking again, I thought something finally clicked and he was going to shape up. Then BAM right back to drinking full force. Now, he’s gone all the time and I’m alone with our 2 yr old son who’s constantly asking me, “daddy home soon?” and I have to be there when Daddy doesn’t show up to do things that were promised to our son. Sometimes I think I hate him, and other times I think…How lucky am I? Cuz he can be a wonderful person! And he is a good dad, until his recent broken promise.

I have realized throughout my life that me wanting somebody to change is not enough for them to change (my dad is also an alcoholic). He went to rehab, went to AA meetings, and has recently considered it again. I just can’t find the words of encouragement without them being my own selfish reasons…or without sounding like I”m begging him.

I just felt this would be a way to talk to women/men who deal with this on a day to day basis. I can’t go to al-anon because times are tough and sadly, the only person who does extra driving in our family is my husband when he goes out drinking.

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The Importance Of Alcohol Withdrawal Support

I have paid a lot of attention recently to just what the symptoms of alcoholism are, how an alcoholic can recognize that they are indeed addicts and not just heavy drinkers and also just how much damage alcohol can cause to family relations as well as causing a negative effect to social behavior leading to complete isolation to the rest of the world.

Alcohol addiction has taken over many lives and infused the drinker with the belief that only through drinking can you survive your day. Giving in to this way of thinking is a path to disaster as you will always be reliant on the bottle for your sense of self esteem.

Often we are given a warning, before it becomes too late, and if we don\’t answer the call to quit drinking then we most likely will never quit; it is at this point where, if you answer the call, then the advice I am about to give will come in most handy.

To reach that critical decision the need to visualize the importance of your life to the people around you and hold the belief that if you change your life, you can also help to improve their lives as well as there really isn\’t a better gift than that of giving. This Alcohol Withdrawal Support would suggest that you start off by setting a day within reason and try to reduce the daily amount of alcohol consumed and make sure that you wake up to an alcohol free environment as well as having everything you need at home for at least a week.

For the first alcohol free week I want you to stay home and just rely on our Alcohol Withdrawal Support program; I recognize that we all need to work but try and have your doctor issue a certificate stating that you were recovering from an illness during your time off. The first few days are very tough and getting out of bed will be incredibly difficult, stay in bed until you are ready to face the world without alcohol.

Family and friends as well as this Alcohol Withdrawal Support group will be your new partner of life and they will no doubt give you all the support to make you realize that you have made to right decision to quit drinking alcohol. After about 72 days you would have virtually said goodbye to alcoholism, but beware of feeling over confident and thinking that just one quick drink would be a nice treat for all your effort.

You will be faced with challenges daily and they will appear, in the beginning, even more difficult as you will be facing them without alcohol. Don\’t forget that the only ones who matter are you and your family and that your success through the help of this Alcohol Withdrawal Support guide is vital to every ones eventual happiness.

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Help for the Christian Alcoholic Who Still Craves Alcohol

I can only tell this story in second-person, but I was David’s wife for the last 9 years that he actively drank alcohol and for the 5 years that he was sober.  This story is not about me; I am just the vessel that God has chosen to tell it.  I will try not to be too long, but it’s hard to know what details to include and what to leave out.   I know that David would want this story to be told, if it helps other alcoholics.

All I can really say about those first 9 drinking years, is that for the most part it was hell.  David has been a practicing alcoholic since his early teens.  He was divorced and had 2 daughters when I met him.  We actually met for the very first time at a treatment center.  He was in his last couple of days of alcohol detox (2nd time) and I was just beginning my treatment for cocaine addiction.  Later we met again at AA meetings and eventually married.  David’s sobriety didn’t last long, thus beginning numerous cycles of hard drinking with brief periods of sobriety.   I won’t go into a lot of details except to say the hard drinking periods resulted in 2 trips to jail for domestic violence while he was in blackouts, ending with a felony DUI and a 3rd trip to the same treatment center.

After David’s 2nd domestic violence arrest, we started attending church and made some close friends,  David stayed sober.  Life was good, but it wasn’t to last.  David and I had both been raised in Christian homes, so we knew and believed in Jesus Christ.

Just to clarify, when I say “Christian,” I am referring to a person who at one point in life admitted being a sinner, confessed those sins, and asked Jesus Christ to come into their heart and be Lord and Savior of their life.  Faith in Jesus Christ is the only way to be saved.

The first church that we attended ended up splitting, because there was a conspiracy to oust the pastor.  We left the church and did not go anywhere else for over a year.  David once again fell off the wagon.  Some of our closest friends had started going to another church in the area, so I went there by myself.  David would attend services with me on the rare occasion, and people from the church would come out and visit us.  There were some awesome prayer warriors at that church.  They prayed often for David and for our family.  David would try to stay sober, but he just couldn’t do it.  No matter how hard he tried, he eventually went back to the bottle.  He would try to hide how much he was drinking, but I always found the evidence.

Things got very bad in early 2001.  Under the guise of helping an older man that used to live across the street and had some health issues, he was actually drinking with him.  This man had been sober for a few years, but David enticed him to drink again.  They became whiskey buddies.  One fateful day, David said he was leaving for work but instead went to the liquor store,  He ended up at his buddy’s house and had to call the man an ambulance because his buddy thought he was having a heart attack.  When David tried to leave, he bumped the ambulance with his big car.  The EMTs called the police, who arrested David in our driveway.  I had come home for lunch and witnessed the whole thing.  I didn’t do anything to stop him from being arrested, because he was staggering drunk already and it was only noon.  I wanted him to go to jail.

He went to jail for what was actually his 5th DUI, making it a felony.  After spending the night in jail, he told me how he laid on the cold cell floor and prayed for Jesus to forgive him and to help him stay sober.  He maintained his sobriety for only a couple of months, then it was right back to the hard drinking like before the DUI.  One day I came home for lunch, and could tell right away he was in a blackout by the look in his eyes and the way he talked.  My son was at school, so I had my mother pick him up and take him to her house.  I left and didn’t go home after work.

Some may wonder why I stayed married to David through all the insanity.  Well, during the really bad periods, I was clinging to God to get me through.  I kept hearing in my spirit to just hang in there because God was going to do a miracle in David’s life.  I didn’t want to miss the miracle, since I had already put up with so much.  I prayed for a forgiving spirit and God gave me one.

Later that night, I did go home not knowing what to expect.  David had sobered up some and was contrite as usual.  But I, for one, had reached my limit.  I told him that if he didn’t go back to treatment, I was done with our marriage.  He allowed me to take him to the treatment center, but they had no beds available.  He was able to return to treatment the next night, where he spent 7 days detoxing.  That night he went into treatment for the 3rd time was actually his sobriety date, because he didn’t take another drink after that.  But he still craved alcohol.

During his periods of sobriety, we had attended church together.  We made a lot of close friends our age who were living true Christian lives.  After David’s treatment, the men took David under their wings and discipled him.  We attended Bible studies together and were becoming stronger Christians.  We studied the book of James and learned about James 5:14-16.

14 Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord.
15 And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven.
16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

David still struggled with a desire to drink.  One Wednesday night, David asked some of the men in our church to come into the prayer room with him, anoint him with oil and pray for deliverance from his craving for alcohol.  I don’t know how many men actually prayed over David that night.  David did say that when one particular friend touched and prayed over him, that he felt something like electricity go through his body and felt the Holy Spirit.  What I do know is that from that moment on, David never craved alcohol.

David told me that the moment he knew he was really healed, was the first time we went back to the river.  That had always been a big drinking trigger for him.  But this time, he didn’t even think about it until afterwards.  David was having doubts about his salvation, so he gave his life to Christ and was baptized in our friends’ swimming pool by his Christian friends.  He became involved with Alcoholics for Christ.  We began working in the church and even served as youth ministers for a couple of years.  God led us to a different church to help with the Celebrate Recovery ministry there.

As for David’s felony DUI, I saw God do many miracles during the time the case was going to trial, and afterwards in the sentencing.  Our Christian friends really showed their support by coming to court dates with David and writing letters of support to the judge.  Everyone had witnessed the divine change in David.  He was so excited about his salvation and his deliverance, people couldn’t help but be drawn to him.  David ended up doing 6 days of a 10 day sentence, reduced from a possible year in prison.  He had to pay a large fine, but only lost his drivers license for 90 days, instead of 5 years.

David continued to love and serve Jesus until God called him home in October 2006.   I tell you his story so that you will understand something important.  If you are a believer and a follower of Jesus Christ, then the words in James 5:14-16 are for you.

David was just a regular country boy who loved his family, Tennessee Vols football, NASCAR, wrestling, drywall finishing, and drinking alcohol.  His father died from complications of alcoholism, and David was headed down the very same path.  What made the difference was David’s faith in God’s word and his willingness to put God’s words into action.

I don’t know why David got healed and others don’t. God is God and I’m not.  I believe the key is that David took the initiative and put his faith into action by asking the men to pray over him.  I just know that practicing James 5:14-16 enabled David to live the last 5 years of his life sober.  All David ever really wanted in life was to be respected.  He finally found that through sobriety.  I am witness to that fact.

Thanks for staying with me for so long.  My point of this long article is to say to the Christian alcoholic who still craves that there is hope for you.  If you have some men in your life who have a close relationship with Jesus, ask them if they would be willing to practice James 5:14-16 on you.  Believe that Jesus wants to set you free from the disease of alcoholism and accept God’s gift of healing.  What do you have to lose?

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Family Involvement In Alcohol Treatments

A common fact (and an obvious one) that can be considered reasonable is to find a gap between an alcoholic and his family. It is also common to discover that a lot of reason why someone is abusing alcohol is because of family related issues and problems. This is because of so many things associated to domestic problems that one can look for escape goats or outlets which can lessen the feeling of stress and depressions of an individual.

We all know that alcoholism and addiction can be the cause of so many problems linking to household problems and family relationships. It affects family members and close relatives making them estranged to the alcoholic. Even though, the person doesn’t intend to make such trauma and troubles, he or she can distress all the members of the family separating him or her from them. So, if we want to accomplish a difficult battle against alcoholism, one must realized we need to tackle the most common ground in the subject, the home.

Family involvement in alcoholism treatment programs is a sure necessary components if we want everyone to be successful in beating alcohol addiction. Therapies and programs should be implemented on families of the alcoholic involve so that members of the family can understand the aspects related to drinking problems. This will allow the home environment ready and supportive while the patient is on withdrawal stage. In general, members of the family are not aware of the circumstances and the reasons of alcohol addiction problems. They might see the problems but do not know the roots and the cause of such drinking problems.

A family therapy and program in alcohol addiction treatment can give them the familiarity and understanding so that they can comprehend clearly and will do the necessary actions on the event. A family program can also teach members of the family on how to deal with the person who is quitting alcohol and will support him while he is undergoing alcohol addiction treatment. The learn how to create a home that is sympathetic and make them comfortable and understanding towards recovery.

Therapy involving programs and therapeutic counseling of the family members can be useful in terms of making a supportive and accommodating place for any alcoholic. An alcohol rehabilitation center that provides quit drinking program is a better place to tackle this kind of condition. It is an added advantage as well as additional resources that will help the person get through the situation. The curing and personalized family program can assist a person to the road of recovering from alcoholism. In this place, the family can educate themselves on how to communicate with each others and how to deal with the alcoholic.

After alcohol rehabilitation and detoxification has been fully accomplished and implemented, the recovering alcoholic can maintain his sobriety at home with the help of informed family members and can be his best weapon in continuing his battle against alcohol addiction. It is a very good support group that will eventually help an individual be sober for the rest of his life.

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Alcoholism and The Family Affair: How Alcoholism Affects the Family

Being an alcoholic is no fun and certainly nobody denies that addiction is a form of sickness in whatever form it takes.  However, being closely associated with an alcoholic is also no bed of roses and entire families are affected by the social behavior of someone in the grip of alcohol addiction.

For a long term partner, wife or husband, there is a certain obligation felt to help the addict and support them in seeking professional help.  For young children and teenagers there are often deeper issues to address, some of which are not aired for months or years as the family struggles to help control the effects of addiction.

When an alcoholic is living within a large family structure, it is reasonable to assume they take up a great deal of attention that might usually be required to help younger members of the family through difficulties caused by adolescence; exams; teenage physical development.  Teenagers already have a battle with hormones: add Grandpa’s elderly problems and Dad’s alcohol addiction to the mix and you have a recipe for explosive family confrontations on a daily basis.

Extreme addiction to alcohol produces some unpleasant problems, not the least of which is financial.  Alcoholism is an expensive addiction and one that requires a constant cash injection to sustain an adequate supply of liquor.  Cash spent on a bottle is no longer available for the things teenagers tend to think are essential to life, such as clothes, cell phones and money for entertainment.  The lack of funds can make a youngster resent the cause of ‘not being able to do stuff’.

The younger members of the family, although sympathetic with elderly problems, tend to view addiction as an indulgence.  Grandparents with elderly problems are usually very welcome to be absent minded or even slightly senile, but not to be addicted to drinking.  Resentment causes teenagers to rebel and object and so the vicious circle goes on and on…

An even greater problem occurs when the addict is a mother.  Mothers who have an alcohol addiction have multiple problems to overcome for a number of reasons.  Women often provide the daily routine in the house, beginning with getting the children out of bed in the mornings to eat their breakfast and ending with putting them to bed at night after a nutritious supper and a warm bath.  All of this breaks down when the lady of the house is sleeping off a bottle induced stupor somewhere by the end of the morning.

The result is that other members of the family, some of whom might be trying to cope with elderly problems, must take over the household responsibilities while Mom sobers up in the corner – or not, as the case may be.  Many American homes are being run by elderly grandparents because parents are either absent or drunk.  The social difficulties faced by these reluctant carers Fare immense and in some cases, insurmountable.

Find More Coping With An Alcoholic Husband Articles

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Alcoholic Families – Part 3

Family members think they are doing the right thing when they play the roles in an alcoholic family. They cannot see that what the are really doing is enabling the alcoholic to continue with his current behavior. So, while the family thinks they are helping, they are really hurting the situation.

As I stated in my previous post, family members revolve around the alcoholic, tending to every need.  Never really giving a thought to their own needs or even realizing that this way of life is not normal.  Some of the behaviors that the family has learned are:

  • Watch what you say. Your words can either trigger an angry rage, or come back at you when the alcoholic is drunk. It is easier to stick to very simple communication.
  • Clean up. Take care of the messes the alcoholic might make. After all, someone might show up at the door and we don’t want them to know!
  • Always let the alcoholic have his way. If you cooked chicken for dinner and he says he wanted steak. What do you do? Cook him a steak!
  • Make excuses. Even kids learn how to make excuses for their alcoholic parent. “Why didn’t your dad pick you up after the dance?” “His car broke down.”

All of these characteristics are learned behaviors. They have been learned so we can cope and try to function in a dysfunctional family.

What is sad is when one person tries to break free from the codependent behavior, there is always someone else in the family to take over.

  • Martha had been reading books about codependency.  She was working on overcoming her codependent beliefs and was trying not to enable her alcoholic husband.  One evening, she had plans to go to dinner with some friends.  When she was getting ready, she heard a thud.  When she went to investigate, she found her husband passed out on the floor.  He made the choice to drink, so he would have to deal with the consequences.  So she left him there.  While she was out, her son came home from college.  He found dad on the floor – so he helped him to the couch and made him comfortable. He then called dads work and made an excuse for his absence. Then he cleaned the vomit off the floor.  Although he thought he was doing the right thing, he really just filling in as the caretaker since Martha had decided not to be codependent anymore.

It is important for all family members to learn to overcome codependency so the cycle doesn’t continue. Family counseling and family support groups are very beneficial for alcoholic families. Let the healing begin!

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