Once a Victim, Always a Victim?

Are you a victim? After all you do for your significant other, and how dare they treat you this way.  They just wad up your heart and toss it out with yesterday’s news.  Yes, you are the ultimate victim and it is all the alcoholic’s fault – right?

You are used and abused, unappreciated and bullied, emotionally destroyed. You have people who you can complain to who agree that you are a victim. They agree that your spouse is an awful person and that you are a saint to put up with it all.

But, could it be that you are unaware that you are playing the part of the victim because that is how you identify yourself. It is important that someone validates how we feel, so we are drawn to people who will agree with our view of being a victim.

One of the first steps to overcoming Codependency and it’s traits it to stop believing we are the victim. You feel like a victim because of all you have been through with the alcoholic/addict. But feeling like a victim and becoming a victim are two different things.

When you blame the alcoholic in your life for making you a victim, you are giving them power. You are allowing them to control your perception of yourself. When you push the responsibility of your feelings and sense of self to someone else, you are giving up control. It is time to take that control back.

You can take that control back by being honest with yourself. Years of codependency have created a bubble around your sense of self – do you really know who you are? What are your goals, your hopes, your dreams for the future. It is time to look inside and rediscover you!

Start a little at a time, write down positive things you see in yourself. Don’t think about anything negative – you get enough negative in your daily life. This is about discovering the good in yourself. It is there, search and you will find it.

Life is a better place when you are free from the victim within. Let it go – find peace within. You might not have peace in your relationship, but you can have peace within yourself. Don’t be a victim anymore!

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