i'm too codependent and i need your help.?

Question by diamondsarebliss: i’m too codependent and i need your help.?
i grew up pratically as an only child in the sense that i had brothers and sisters but i usually did not live with them. i am married now and my fiance and i sleep in the same bed together every night, but in a couple of months he is going to be gone for eight weeks. i don’t like the idea of sleeping alone because he is usually always with me. i have also noticed that he is the more dominant one in the relationship so i have become a very codependent person. i’m used to him driving me around, i don’t shower without him, i don’t go to be until he comes home, and the worst part is i am 36 weeks pregnant and i need to become independent to take care of her when it is just she and i during that eight weeks. what can i do to feel comfotable enough to sleep alone and to become and independent person?
p.s. i shower without him, and i can’t drive the car because if i were to get into a car crash the air bag would kill the baby and he is at work and school all of the time so he always has the car.

Best answer:

Answer by Naomi “Dani” Brigalia
Well I think I can help you. Have you tried like hiring a maid. Sleep with her, shower with her, as long as the pay is good you should be fine! I know that your new (but sh@tty) life will evenutually help you or give you some comfort…

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4 Comments

  1. Girl why is he leaving you for eight weeks? i think we all know why he needs to go away

  2. You only shower if he is in the there with you?? My god, a woman needs some privacy. Does your husband not need some privacy also?

    If you want to get used to the idea of him being away, you should try sleeping in another bed for one night each week. Or maybe you could stay over at a friend or family members house for one night each week.

    This way you still feel safe as someone is in the house with you.

    My other suggestion to gain some more idependance is to organise time away from your husband, just for yourself. You can either go shopping, have a coffee with friends, go to the beach and read a book.

    I would also start asking your husband what needs to be paid and done around the house during the 8 weeks. Rather than just getting him to organise everything before he leaves or gets back, you could try and get some stuff done while he is away.

    Since you are expecting a new baby, I think maybe joining a local mothers group will help you as well.

  3. Sounds strange to say, but after the first 2 weeks, you’ll get used to it.
    Think of all the things you need to do once you have your baby – you’ll appreciate the extra time to get some sleep and be glad not to be running around after him.

    I hope you’ve got someone around to help out, a friend or sister? While your fiance is away, you’ll need support, especially with your new baby. If you haven’t got anyone, look up some mother and baby clubs or get in touch with family – please don’t struggle alone as you’ll need a break.

    Also, get in touch with old friends on the phone or through Facebook and meet up for coffee – widen your social circle, so that if he goes away again you don’t have to be worried about being alone. It’s not easy becoming independant, you need to push yourself. I really do feel for you.

    Good luck x

  4. I will be pleased to sleep and shower with you for the 8 weeks he is away. I don’t want you to go so long without a shower.