Question by Hazeleyes: Does anyone know where I can get some online support for families of alcoholics?
My fiance is an alcoholic and I have been trying to understand what he is going through but its just not working so I figured if I had someone to talk to it would help me better understand. Plz only helpful answers.

Best answer:

Answer by meemadee2000
alanon is a good placeto start. Also, check your local AA for info on alanon. Good luck. Alanon.com

What do you think? Answer below!

Family members think they are doing the right thing when they play the roles in an alcoholic family. They cannot see that what the are really doing is enabling the alcoholic to continue with his current behavior. So, while the family thinks they are helping, they are really hurting the situation.

As I stated in my previous post, family members revolve around the alcoholic, tending to every need.  Never really giving a thought to their own needs or even realizing that this way of life is not normal.  Some of the behaviors that the family has learned are:

• Watch what you say. Your words can either trigger an angry rage, or come back at you when the alcoholic is drunk. It is easier to stick to very simple communication.
• Clean up. Take care of the messes the alcoholic might make. After all, someone might show up at … read more

Alcoholic families have interesting dynamics – everyone has a role. Just like parts in a play, they act out their roles and revolve around the central character like he is the most important being on the earth. No wonder the alcoholic treats everyone like his personal servants – that is what they have become.

Here are some roles that you will find in a alcoholic family. Do they sound familiar?

• The caretaker: This is usually played by an adult in the family. They make sure everything is taken care of. The bills are paid, the shopping is done, the house is clean, etc. The caretaker is so busy taking care of everthing and everyone else that he/she has no time for his/her own needs.
• The scapegoat: This is the person who seems to get the blame for everything. If the alcoholic trips over something, it is because … read more

Alcoholism has been called the ‘Family Disease’ because it  affects everyone in the family to some extent.  In many families, all the members have become enablers. By refusing to admit there is a problem in their family, they are all allowing the destructive behavior to continue.

Families of alcoholics are always on guard because they never know what the drinkers behavior will be from one moment to the next. Children do not invite friends over, spouses make excuses for not attending social functions, etc.

Perhaps a scenario like this has played out in your home:

• It is one of the kids birthdays and you are having a family dinner. You are on edge because family functions are a trigger for alcohol abuse and none of your guests are aware of the problem. Your kids are are acting silly – partly because of the excitement of the party, and partly to … read more