Who is really to blame for this codependent/alcoholic relationship anyway? Of course it is the alcoholic – right? Really, if it wasn’t for the substance abuse, life would be great! Would it really? Or would you find a way to sabotage the relationship because you just aren’t ready to deal with your own emotions?
Are you a victim? After all you do for your significant other, and how dare they treat you this way. They just wad up your heart and toss it out with yesterday’s news. Yes, you are the ultimate victim and it is all the alcoholic’s fault – right?
Hope is all around you. You can find it in nature, in a child’s laugh, a visit with a friend. Hope is sustaining, it helps to get you through another day. Sometimes it feels like you are clinging to hope like a lifeboat, adrift in a sea of guilt and despair.
Living with an alcoholic is frustrating. You can feel very alone and abandoned. Where can you turn? You need somewhere to go where you will be understood – where others have felt your pain. Al-Anon is that place.
Family members think they are doing the right thing when they play the roles in an alcoholic family. They cannot see that what the are really doing is enabling the alcoholic to continue with his current behavior. So, while the family thinks they are helping, they are really hurting the situation.
Alcoholic families have interesting dynamics – everyone has a role. Just like parts in a play, they act out their roles and revolve around the central character like he is the most important being on the earth. No wonder the alcoholic treats everyone like his personal servants – that is what they have become.
